Our fearless leader Jamie has asked us this morning, "What rules do you wish to make or break?" Oh what a wonderful, powerful question. I screams out to create personal boundaries or break down fences that bind us...whoot!! Hmmm which way shall I go here!!
I have been struggling with "fitting in" again this week. The whole don't fit in the clique thing..odd man out..blah blah blah. It isn't that this group of women do not like me..they do, out here in the non cyber world...I am just not part of the group and now and again I catch myself being bothered by that..wanting to please and offering to do things that I would not ordinarily nor is for healthy for me. So maybe this is about boundary keeping more than breaking.
I was among this group of women this week and felt sad and a bit hurt by behavior. You know... when you are having a pleasant conversation with someone and then a member of "their group" walks up and suddenly they walk away mid sentence as though they were never even talking to you at all. And....they don't ever come back..you just stand there on the outskirts of another group deep in conversation and feel stupid. Well..seriously it is rude...and I am frankly too old to put up with that. Despite the fact that I really do not think they meant any hurt to me...it is ME that needs to buck up and not engage in the first place..cause I KNOW what is coming.
So..my wish today is a rule for myself..a boundary..one to take care of me and that I be responsible for my own space. That I will remain present when I am with them. I wish to remember that it is ok to not engage with everyone..to stand back and care for myself..to say no and often in this group. To recognize that I am unique and I do not want to be different than I am just to fit in this group or anywhere frankly. I really like my camos..even if they don't..I am ok with that! I just need to remind myself of it before I walk into the fray! I like me the way I am and wish to remember this and be present in that comfort!
What do you wish today? Namaste all, Sarah
**Just a little note (huge hugs) of thanks to all of you wonderful Wishcasters...I did Let Fly with the classes this week....I am over the moon and happy dancin'! Thank you for all of your encouragement and support! Whoot!!!
36 comments:
Anybody who just doesn't absolutely adore you as the wonderful person you are -- hey, it's THEIR loss!!
As sarah wishes for herself I wish for her also! I hear ya!
As Sarah wishes for herself I wish for her also!
Awwww Dear Sarah....
I sure do know that feeling...I have never fit in anywhere.
The more I am just MYSELF, the more separation I see.
So we don't fit...is that a bad thing??
As Sarah wishes for herself, so do I also wish for her with all my heart!
I've had that same feeling. But then again, it doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. Be who you are - the group thing is overrated.
xo
Claudia
I totally know what ya mean . As Sarah wishes for herself , I wish for her also . : P
I've struggled with the fitting in thing my whole life. My dear friend Wayne finally shed some different light on it for me. He made the point that because my mind thinks so differently than most, it's just simply harder for people to figure out what to make of me :)) As you wish for yourself today, I lovingly wish for you also.
beauty.
as sarah wishes for herself, i wish for her also.
As Sarah wishes for herself, so do I joyfully wish for her sooo much!! I'm SO proud of you!!
well put I love your post on this
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also!
A wonderful wish to hold.
Sarah, how wonderful that you help out at the school! As busy as you are, the children are always a priority. And YAYYYYYYYY for launching the e-course!!! Renee would be SO very proud of you. I'm sure she is beaming. Congratulations!
As Sarah wishes for herself, I wish for her as well. I think setting boundaries and taking care of ourselves is a wonderful rule to make. Just continue to be the wonderfully warm, creative and supportive person that you are. You offer such a gift to all of us.
You are so generous, Sarah! Of course I would love a copy of your big bee print too! Thank you so much -- I will treasure them!
As Sarah wishes for herself, so do I wish for her also. I so know those feelings. And you're right, caring for yourself is the answer. I never quite thought of it that way but thank you, it feels right.
That is just so rude and uncalled for. Keep those boundaries because you deserve better.
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also!
Oh yeah - I know that feeling too. I just keep silently repeating, "This is not junior high, this is not junior high" even though it feels like...junior high. As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her as well.
(And congrats on your new classes!)
lovely, important boundary rule to create. I can sooo relate! As Sarah wishes for herself, I wish also for her.
As my friend Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. Oh, I hear you loud and clear on this one, I have been in that situation and it sucks. May we both find those boundaries we need to stay true to ourselves.
Namaste dear one.
Karen
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her!
Yea on remembering it's not 'personal,' & that it's up to us to set good boundaries! I'm an 'only child of older parents,' & have found it hard to feel I fit at times, too; & so remember being hurt at times like you describe; also need to remember not to be the one walking away!
Great post.
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
May you be surrounded by people that nourish, support and cherish you. You are a treasure.
Sarah as you wish yourself, I also wish for you. I am proud of you, to know yourself and being present enough to say no not for me. Hugs.
Boundaries are good! And so is being present!
Congratulations on your new venture! Hoping maybe this winter I can take a class when work isn't quite so hectic.
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her!
In love and light~gail
Hi Sarah, I was just stopping by to say thanks for the info on My Town and was swept up in this post. I right there with you ~ too old to care anymore and often forgetting those boundaries are my responsibility. Sometimes I'd rather stay out of a group than deal with the uncomfortable feelings that arise. Gah!
Hi Sarah, I was just stopping by to say thanks for the info on My Town and was swept up in this post. I right there with you ~ too old to care anymore and often forgetting those boundaries are my responsibility. Sometimes I'd rather stay out of a group than deal with the uncomfortable feelings that arise. Gah!
Hi Sarah, I was just stopping by to say thanks for the info on My Town and was swept up in this post. I right there with you ~ too old to care anymore and often forgetting those boundaries are my responsibility. Sometimes I'd rather stay out of a group than deal with the uncomfortable feelings that arise. Gah!
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
Boundaries ... oh my, yes ... something I have to work on over and over in my life. What you wrote I SO KNOW. I end up scratching my head and wondering what just happened? And even when I can understand the behavior says more about them than about me (usually the person walking away is a huge people pleaser/collector of friends) it still hurts.
Boundaries - yes - and when the person is someone I value, then I know I need to speak up and let them know how I feel. Not so much "you did this rude thing to me" but a gentle "hey, excuse me I really wanted to be talking with you and this is how I feel." But often those people are not the ones I want to invest in anyway, so yeah, I have to protect myself from being hurt.
As Sarah wishes for herself, I so wish for her also.
There is NO excuse for rudeness, none! I really wouldn't bother me. This is not the kind of "friends" that I would want. Or a circle I would want to be in. Not having your friendship is their loss.
(((HUGS)))
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
There is no excuse for rudeness, esp. since we are all grown women.
Hurray for taking care of yourself and recognizing that it's perfectly wonderful to be *you*. I come from a background of never quite fitting in, and I know that trying just uses too much energy and never quite works anyhow. So hurray for you for standing firm and being yourself.
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
Hiya, Sarah! What a lovely blog you have! It's inspiring to me...
And as Sarah wishes for herself, I wish for her also!
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. I've spent most of my life on the outside... it takes a lot to love yourself when you don't fit in to the prevailing sensibilities and you've got what it takes to be the happiest, most contented you that you can be. Keep it up!
Boy can I relate to this post! I thought we left all that crap behind in high school but sometimes it still pops up. Ugh.
I say we go places together :-)
xo
Post a Comment