Saturday, May 10, 2014

Raffle #2 for Cancer Support


I had hoped to do just one..I know I said I would offer up two raffles. Seems I need to do the second one, which I struggle with :/ I am back to work..thankfully! But I am struggling to do more than a couple days here at the start. The new chemo I am on is easier on the system and I am getting stronger day by is just taking more time than I had hoped. So…I decided to offer up two of my very favorite original pieces, “The Bohemian Bean” and “Dragon’s Rest”. Both created in pen and ink and colored pencil..each will come to the winner with a certificate of authenticity.

As before you will get an entry with each $5.00 donation. Please add a comment too :) If you are kind enough to share it on your page or blog, or anywhere.. you will get another entryJ If you donated last time and didn’t win..I will add your name in one time again.  For those of you that sent donation after the last raffle you will be added into this oneJ The raffle starts today and will end at 4pm Pacific time on May 18th.

I cannot tell you all what this means to your support has lifted me up and touched me. Thank you just does not say enough. Huge hugs and love!

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Lessons on Trusting...

There have been times in my life that I have been called stubborn girl. Who me? Uhmmm yeah. This last couple of weeks I have tried to get myself back to work a couple days a week. Clearly finances are a concern…but well as usual I pushed a bit harder than I should have. My head was thinking that two days a week, on my feet for seven hours should be doable right? Maybe I could even handle three or four. Sigh.. last Friday my body and the Universe had a serious sit down conversation with me. It went something like this.

“Hi Sarah…how is the view from the floor in the back room at work? You were not ready to come to work today…your body told you pushed on ahead and does that ceiling look? You have scared your daughter (working with me) to death and well it’s time to go home for the day and regroup.”

“But…but…but…I can do this..I will be ok in a bit..just let me...ok…I will go home.”

Mortified and when I was ok enough to drive, I went home. I wanted to stay, but my gut was trying to readjust to the new chemo and had other ideas. I went home and I sat outside for several hours in the shade contemplating.

“Sarah…your fear is overwhelming your trust. Stop today and listen to me and your body. Slow down, you are not able to do 100% right now. Someday soon you will, but not yet. You only have so much energy to spread around as your doing chemo and your body is healing. Stubbornness and fear will hurt you here. Calm and positive will win this battle..stop and regroup.”

Several folks close to me had been telling me this…many worried that I was pushing too hard..fear about finances and be honest my frustration at being at a mere 50% of my normal energy level upset me.
The fact was simple and clear I only have so much energy to go around right now and I had to accept that and work with what I had. Thankfully and without fear I had to do some heavy duty trusting and quit being so stubborn. I restarted my meditation practice, started measuring my activities more carefully and started working on being in the present. Not the past or the future..the now. Sometimes you just have to let go of all the fear before the answers are presented to you. Is it easy??  NO..cause I want control..but I am working on it. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Trusting.

Namaste all, Sarah