Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Let Fly..Version 2.0

I know.it is election day..and yes I will vote. That said..there has been enough said..so I won't.

Trauma is a tricky thing, leaves all your bits and pieces scattered. Some of which should be left lost, others we need. There is no rushing it, no forcing the issue. They return as we are ready to welcome them home again. Sometimes that  happens naturally, others require help from folks around us. Sometimes the objective help of a counselor is needed to clarify what has been muddied. Sometimes just someone who makes you feel joy again is all it takes to make that process reboot. Yes a tricky thing.

I love that statement.. "Let it be known that this girl has remembered who She is". Because there was a moment this last week where I realized..I had in fact remembered. Whaaaaa.. about time right.. LOL? No it was just the right time..my time..when my heart and soul were ready. When my need to move forward over came my fear of standing still. One step..one leap...whooot here I go. I was a pro leaper in the past..no fear..Let Fly.. caution to the wind. I am a more cautious leaper now. A wiser, older leaper. A... let's check out where we land leaper. For me..I think this is a good thing.

I was asked this week about my artwork...had I gotten back to it? Well..sorta. My Muse is working part time. Going back and forth between gently pushing me and stepping back as I balk.

Morning Sarah...shall we create today? You know it will make you feel better, lighter. Will make you a happier you!

Uhm..maybe, if I can find the time.

You mean the time while you are sitting watching a new Netflix show..and not creating as you watch?

Ok maybe I will knit. That is creative right?

And so the conversation goes. I knit a little bit, take my pencils down and look at the beautiful colors and stare at my paper..and nothing. So My Muse steps back. She does not leave, just steps back. She is gentle with me.

I suspect that my creativity has something to do with joy..or the lack there of. It has been a while since I felt real joy. This week..I felt joy. I had become so used to the lack of , it was kinda a shock. So bright and beautiful, it was kinda blinding really. But in a good way. Kinda like being in the dark and walking out into the sunlight. Took a little getting used to. I fought it..but well it won in the end. So I am guessing that my Muse will hand me something I can handle soon..some inspiration that I cannot resist, that must be drawn. I look forward to that. In the mean time I will knit, which is creative, but lets me not over think it all..just let my fingers work and there it is. Simple, pure and feeds my soul.

So I guess this week is one of those..let it evolve and watch weeks. Enjoy the ride and see where we land, look first but still take the ride weeks. So although I still will Let Fly, it will be for now a more cautious version. What piece will wander back to me this week do you suppose? What piece are you looking for right now?

Thank you for popping by and pulling up a chair! Hugs and Namaste


Unknown said...

It will come back. As you say, when it's time. It is healing to create, to that I can attest. But it's also necessary to fill your well and it will take a while to fill. So be easy on yourself and do the things that make you feel joy. And you will find it again. Hugs! Your sis.

Sarah Sullivan said...

Awww thank you hon..huge hugs and love♡♡

Yarrow said...

How are you doing sweet Sarah? It's been a while since your last post. I hope your muse is being gentle with you, heck, I hope you're being gentle with yourself.xxx

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