Jamie asked us today.... what do you wish to transform? Again deep questions. Hmmm I could go several directions here I guess - like my yard. But I think I will go with one about something within myself.
I was recently reminded by a dear friend (you know who you are - thank you hon), that perhaps I should revisit an old friend of mine... the book "Co-dependent No More". She offered (with honey) that it might help me, dealing primarily with my daughter and a few other issues she has been helping me work through. Uhmmmmm yup she's right.... my boundaries in certain areas have become a bit trampled on. I need to address them, I need to transform my boundaries.... again.
I worked through this book many years ago in depth and have found it necessary to revisit every few years or so. I find I have become much better over the years at creating and holding boundaries. But of late it seems I have several people who don't respect them, some are like carnivores, constantly pacing the perimeter looking for a breach and attacking through any weakness in my fences. Others are more like herbivores, grazing right over the lines, not really intending harm, just oblivious to the bound ires and having to be reminded -alot!!!
I have discovered over the years, that people do not like me making boundaries especially the carnivores. They want what they want and push until I am exhausted, then manipulate some more. It seems at the moment I am needing electric fence for these folks. So I would like to transform not only my boundaries, but the ability to ignore the pressure to fold and stand firm. To take better care of me, this is a hard one for me. So, there is my wish - to transform my attitude towards valuing myself and keeping my boundaries so I can do that effectively.
22 comments:
Hello Sarah,
I wish you strength and courage to fulfill your wish. Some folks can feel boundaries, others don't and some don't care, this can be a hard one. Honoring our truth is very important. I still work with this one too.
I learnt late in life that some people get pleasure in imposing their character on others. What eventually happens is it breaks the spirit of the other person. It changes who they are.
Stand your ground and your boundaries girl.
It's a wonderful book Sarah! I had need of it a number of years ago when someone close had a drinking problem and I was enabling.
"As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her"
Ahhh, Sarah, you don't ramble! You have a wonderful way with words, I'm usually at a loss for them!
As Sarah wishes for herself, so do I wish for her.
Boundaries are so very important. I learned this lesson late in life, but now that I know it I'm never going backward.
Love to you my sweet friend!
Sarah,
You are not alone....I have been opting for the baseball bat against the carnivores....I hand you a new Louisville Slugger Bat....Keep swinging and give a holla...I will bring mine with me...Chin up and forward march on through...
Smiles (w/ a bat)
Sonia ;)
Tell those carnivores that you know a dragon...personally. !!!!!
Hugs--
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also! I hear you about boundaries. They are often ignored when they really shouldn't be.
I love your use of analogies (one of my favorite things!). When used well, they make comprehension so much easier. You, sweet friend, use them well!
I truly love that you have assigned the task of taking better care of and valuing yourself. You are such a warm, caring, loving person - you send so much of yourself to others. Save most of that for YOU!
Love and hugs,
xoxoxo
That sounds like a great book,Sarah. I think everyone has needed to work on their boundaries at some time or another.
Sarah,
Me! Dragons love to take on carnivores! Thanks for dropping by. Seriously, I do know how hard it is to value yourself and your time and set boundaries. You can do it. I know it!
As Sarah wishes for herself, so do I wish for her.
Boundaries are so important for self-definition.
As Sarah wishes for herself, so do I wish for her.
As Sarah wishes for herself, so do I wish for her.
I have re-visited that book many times always learning something new. I keep it in my library just for that reason. I also read Playing it by Heart by the same author. It further goes into where Co-Dependent No MOre left off!~
Also, pick up your Mom of the Year Award from my blog!!
As Sarah wishes for herself, I wish for her also!
Boundaries - I know them all too well :)
I've experienced similar issues with both family and friends. It is not always easy to address and feelings may initially get hurt. However, in the long run you both will better off for dealing with it head on.
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
Patience and persistent, dear. That's all I can offer--I have the same issues-with what seems like very similar carnivores--I mean people. :-)
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also!
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish also!
May your boundaries keep you safe from the carnivores, and allow you the freedom to grow. :)
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish also.
What a powerful transformation. It's great to know that you have already had success in this area - and so you will again :)
The image of the carnivores/herbivores is really clear!
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
Honouring boundaries is a tricky one, especially as a mother. I'm working on it every day. Glad to know I'm not the only one who struggles at times.
Bright Blessings.
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
I also have issues with boundaries and it seems that consistency is key. Congratulations on your growth in this area. Sending strength and peace your way!
Hugs!
As Sarah wishes for herself, so do I wish for her. Congratulations on Halloween Artists designation! Wishes do come true keep it up!
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