Monday, July 13, 2009
Quilting Bee #16
Good morning all!! I hope your weekend was restful and fun!! I have put out some delicious treats this morning. There are several types of quick bread, banana, pumpkin cranberry, lemon poppy seed, almond poppy seed & apple cinnamon. There is cream cheese and honey butter if you would like to spread a bit on your treats. I have also sliced some delicious peaches and plums for nibbling. We have several fruit ice teas and of course delicious coffee.
I have racked a quilt with warmth and kindness this week, so pull up a chair and join me won't you?
I have always been the kind of person who tends to wear my friendships easily. I have at an older age become quite good at recognizing when a friendship isn't healthy for me and can step away without too much trouble. As a younger woman..not so much. For reasons we won't rehash here..I was really, really bad at recognizing what a real friend looked like. So...I chose poorly...often. Not to say I never muff it now, I'm just quicker to get it. Somewhere in my thirties I heard or read two concepts that started one of those light bulb moments. Friends are either inch deep or mile deep & you can only have ten mile deep relationships in your life at a time.
So, a few years back I reevaluated the relationships in my life. Not just from my point of view but theirs. At least by their actions towards me..how did they seem to view me, as a inchy or a miler?? I guess was kinda shocked. I had lots of inch deep friendships not because I hadn't wanted or thought they were mile deep, but because they viewed me as an inchy friend. So I started seriously thinking about this concept. I had several friends who I thought were mile deep at the time, but I just could not understand why they didn't see me that way too. I struggled to understand why we just couldn't get beyond the casual friend thing. I was always there when they needed me, yet I was seldom on their list to do things with or call. I know your thinking....hellooooo Sarah..wake up. I did slowly. I was confused and hurt for a while..what was wrong with me?? Truly it really didn't have alot to do with me so to speak..I was not one of their ten, their mile deepers. I had to wrap my head around the idea that I had to pay closer attention to my own ten and determine where I would spend my emotional energy. It wasn't personal it was wise.
I know some of you are thinking..ten..I couldn't do just ten. Ok so sometimes I have a dozen. But I have come to realize a couple things about this concept... the more you spread your self the thinner your attention to any given person becomes. When I say seven, I am including your other half, your children and your friends. Given the size of my family and my need to have an adult life also..I did find that I needed to make a little bit of room for some deep friendships with women here. So..think of the time you have to offer others as a limited commodity. A rare liquid, highly valued. Think of yourself and what you have to offer others as worth something. Because you are worth so very much. I know as women we want to give and give...that is sooooooo me. But.. what happens... that lovely rare commodity does not magically replenish itself unless you take care to not give every drop away. I would like you to consider yourself as one of the seven. The very first one you care for and love. Truly this is the only way you can increase the amount of this delicious liquid you pour out and offer to others. I am saying, consider how you spread yourself among others..are they feeding you too? Do they consider you mile deep?
Now do not get me wrong here. Many of us have those in our lives that cannot give back, but we choose to make them our priority..that is ok too.. you make the rules here. I am asking you to be honest about how you view people in your life. I think most of us have someone in our lives that we continue to make a priority because they deeply need us and we choose to be there for them regardless of the cost to us. I said.."choose"..remember you have chosen to do this without the expectation of a return. Some folks in our lives for one reason or another may never be able to return what we offer them. Just always keep in mind this is your choice.
I have some very deep friendships with women on line!! Does that surprise anyone? I truly think it is amazing how you can form such a deep friendship with someone who you have never seen in person. Sometimes I think these kinds of friendships are better than those in the world out here...we don't judge each other by where we live or what we have, who we are in a relationship with, how fat or thin we are...etc etc.. All of the things as women we should not consider in the first place..but we do... sadly. Think of all those amazing folks we overlook in the real world!! Here we are real,and that is not only amazing but wonderful. Some of us here are inch deep, we cross each others paths and support each other up when we are needed. Give a hand up and a bit of a brushing off or a hug when one has fallen. Men or women, inch deep or mile..you are all amazing jewels..every single one. I have found that someone I thought was inch deep, becomes a mile deep friend and sometimes the reverse. Priorities change, life changes. I have been deeply surprised over the years, when I deeply need help..who steps up to the plate.. it is often an inch deep friend. This is a fluid concept.. always changing and needing consideration.
So..today I am asking you to share with us if this concept rings true with you or how you make it work in your life. I'm gonna get some coffee and banana bread...luuuuvvvvv banana bread. Thank you for joining me today my friends! Namaste, Sarah
BTW..don't forget to sign up for my giveaway!!