Monday, March 16, 2009
Sarah Self Aware?
I like to think of myself as relatively self aware… uhmmmm maybe not so much! Over the coarse of the last couple of weeks I discovered that I had been knee deep … OK Renee ( she is serving as my Jiminy Cricket today) waist deep in the river of denial. Without Hanna in the household for the last two weeks, I found myself in a bit of shock finding myself wading out of the muck. Mainly because I didn’t even realize my feet were wet much less the rest of me!!!! Not to say Hanna was the muck – just that I had chosen to wade there myself rather than face truth about how stressed out I really was. This kept me awake contemplating – how did I miss all the signs – then I wondered…. what were the signs???? So – I am confessing today – here are Sarah’s signs for – “you are not taking care of your self, crazy, stressed out girl”…(forgive me - some of these are kinda – “DUH – Hello!!!”)
I hide – from everyone and everything – I don’t want to go out with people – just hang at home.
I escape into books and movies – A LOT.
I can’t seem to be creative or find the time for my art – which sustains me- really it does.
I’m cranky! Duh!!!
I don’t eat well, take my vitamins and I crave sweets (again Duh!).
I don’t get out and walk or do my yoga– which is necessary thing for me!!!
I don’t meditate – can’t concentrate – huge sign – to much mind busyness.
My house gets cluttered and messy – I generally like some order (I know…I am anal).
My house plants which I adore start to wilt and die – I love my plants!!
I get oversensitive and tend to get my feeling hurt over silly things!! Like – What do you mean you won’t go walk to the store and get me a donut????? Then brood for 24 hours about how I do so much for him… grumble grumble. Uhhhmmm… yeah – embarrassing!!
My gut wages war and my head feels free to get migraines.
One of the biggest – duh signs – I have a need to watch P.S. I Love You and Steel Magnolia’s – just to cry it out. (told you some were… whack you in the head Duh!!!!)
So despite the appearance that I am beating myself up, really I am saying is… Oh – now I get it! I will plaster this list up somewhere where I can review it now and again. Maybe next time I go to that river I will stop and be more self aware of what my body, mind and spirit are telling me! Sarah, be self aware and love yourself!!! Thanks for listening to the babble today! Sarah