Wednesday, October 14, 2009
This pic from...http://simplymarvelous.wordpress.com/
Dear Jamie has offered us a challenge again today.."What do we wish to let go of?" Ok so this is not an easy one. This is one of those ones ya can't just say...like...chocolate. This is one of those deeper questions.
Ok ya ready? Here goes...I wish to let go of my constant pressure on myself to keep pushing so hard! Many of you know that the last couple of years have been a huge financial step up, following a good many years of poverty after my divorce in 1997. I have worked my backside off getting the family to the point that we were not living hand to mouth or worse some months ..nothing to put in the mouth unless it came from the food bank. I have no shame in where we have been..but do not want to go back there. The economy of the last year has taken it's toll on my childcare business and on the artwork sales as well. We have taken a couple steps backwards. I will admit it scares me to be closer to the pit. I am fighting hard to not step back any farther.
This week I was reminded that struggle is pointless..sleepless nights, cranky moods, being hard on myself or Jim about the money. It only serves to make me crazy and not so fun to be around. Since last May I have taken very little time to just play for fear of losing ground. I mentioned last week my need to get my organizer together..I have - whoo hoo..but in the process realized that my lack of time for fun was glaring! I am working with kids or my artwork about 14 hours a day most day and weekends too. I'm ok with most of that...but I have not been giving myself any down time. I really need that..to give myself permission to stop and do whatever.
What reminded me? Two things..I had a new student inroll out of the blue Monday and what you see in my post below this one. The previous post..shows some pictures of me in full Halloween get up. I was given a challenge to do a full upper body witch dress up. Ya know dressing up..remember that? Well...I did it and had soooo much fun getting my goth on and just having fun with it. I took my camera in the bathroom and Let Fly with my makeup training of old and just had a hoot!
So...I want to let go of this need to keep pushing SOOOOOO hard and relax a bit. I can't stop working, but I can give myself permission to pull over tie the horses up and step down for a bit. LOL I need to Let Fly with the Letting Fly!! What do you wish to let go of? Namaste, Sarah