Friday, June 25, 2010
Hurt and a Bitsy Cookie....
Well... a bitsy cookie and a note. I have had a rough couple of weeks..I have just kept pushing through..waiting to feel summery..and all I have felt is hurt. I have been a teary mess. Not to say there wasn't plenty to be teary or bent about...ex husband in town causing pain for everyone, children moving on, graduations...lots of emotional stuff. Then there is the kind of thing..where you cultivate relationships all year..to find in the end you are still on the outside. They will be friendly with you if they see you..but that is about it. Sigh. A huge project I worked on this year went unacknowledged...or at least there was no credit given for it. It was used and to the delight of all..but no one bothered to say it was my work. It was acknowledged in private. I was a bit hurt by that...I really was. There have been a couple of other major zingers in the last two week online and in the real world that I won't put out there..but they hurt me deeply. It has been an empaths emotional nightmare..the more I tried to ignore it..the more oversensitive I became...ackkkkkkk!!
But two things happened this week... two things that not only made me cry like a child...but touched me so deeply I snapped out of my hurt...at least back to dealing with it. The first thing....a thank you note from a parent. It was so wonderful to get this...that thank you for what you do. That it meant the world to hear that she could leave her son with me and know he was safe and well cared for..that she did not worry. You see he has some issues..he can melt down easily among other things. He can be a challenge..but he is amazing and wonderful too! We do well together! So..I was deeply touched by her words. As care providers...we don't always hear this..that we are valued. This week..I so needed to hear that I was valued by someone out here in the real world.
The second thing came from this sweet empathic child...Nonni. By the end of the day yesterday...I was up to my eyeballs in hurt again...or at least..as I tried to muscle through it all and ignore it....it was seeping out of my pores..so I went to bed early. I was cranky, fed up and burned out..I was not fit to be around frankly..so I put myself to bed and closed the door. About an hour later as I sat there lost in a book...my Nonni came in to hug me. She asked me what was wrong..why I was teary and grumpy...I love it when kids are straight up. I told her I was sad about some things and needed a good night sleep and that I didn't want to be grumpy to everyone. She crawled over and gave me huge hug and said, "I love ya Mama..feel better!!" About a half an hour later she came back..gave me another snuggle and handed me that bitsy cookie. This is what she said,
"I love you so much, you are the best Mama in the world and this cookie will make you feel better!!"
Yup...one bitsy cookie was exactly what it took to snap me out of it. One sweet child who knew just what I needed ...a little bit of tenderness, a couple big hugs and a bitsy cookie. Your Mama loves you too!!!