Friday, June 25, 2010

Hurt and a Bitsy Cookie....


Well... a bitsy cookie and a note. I have had a rough couple of weeks..I have just kept pushing through..waiting to feel summery..and all I have felt is hurt. I have been a teary mess. Not to say there wasn't plenty to be teary or bent about...ex husband in town causing pain for everyone, children moving on, graduations...lots of emotional stuff. Then there is the kind of thing..where you cultivate relationships all year..to find in the end you are still on the outside. They will be friendly with you if they see you..but that is about it. Sigh. A huge project I worked on this year went unacknowledged...or at least there was no credit given for it. It was used and to the delight of all..but no one bothered to say it was my work. It was acknowledged in private. I was a bit hurt by that...I really was. There have been a couple of other major zingers in the last two week online and in the real world that I won't put out there..but they hurt me deeply. It has been an empaths emotional nightmare..the more I tried to ignore it..the more oversensitive I became...ackkkkkkk!!


But two things happened this week... two things that not only made me cry like a child...but touched me so deeply I snapped out of my hurt...at least back to dealing with it. The first thing....a thank you note from a parent. It was so wonderful to get this...that thank you for what you do. That it meant the world to hear that she could leave her son with me and know he was safe and well cared for..that she did not worry. You see he has some issues..he can melt down easily among other things. He can be a challenge..but he is amazing and wonderful too! We do well together! So..I was deeply touched by her words. As care providers...we don't always hear this..that we are valued. This week..I so needed to hear that I was valued by someone out here in the real world.


The second thing came from this sweet empathic child...Nonni. By the end of the day yesterday...I was up to my eyeballs in hurt again...or at least..as I tried to muscle through it all and ignore it....it was seeping out of my pores..so I went to bed early. I was cranky, fed up and burned out..I was not fit to be around frankly..so I put myself to bed and closed the door. About an hour later as I sat there lost in a book...my Nonni came in to hug me. She asked me what was wrong..why I was teary and grumpy...I love it when kids are straight up. I told her I was sad about some things and needed a good night sleep and that I didn't want to be grumpy to everyone. She crawled over and gave me huge hug and said, "I love ya Mama..feel better!!" About a half an hour later she came back..gave me another snuggle and handed me that bitsy cookie. This is what she said,
"I love you so much, you are the best Mama in the world and this cookie will make you feel better!!"
Yup...one bitsy cookie was exactly what it took to snap me out of it. One sweet child who knew just what I needed ...a little bit of tenderness, a couple big hugs and a bitsy cookie. Your Mama loves you too!!!
Namaste, Sarah

26 comments:

Dede said...

So sorry about your last couple of weeks. Chin up,Sarah! The ones that really matter are the ones you heard from. I love that baby of yours, she is the bestest! Wishing you a hurt free week! Enjoy the weekend with your family!

(((HUGS)))

Sarah said...

Thank you hon:) Yes she is the bestest!!

stregata said...

Sorry to hear things haven't been so good. Just want to give you a hug!!!

Tabitha And Family said...

Your precious Angel filled my heart with great joy! You are most valued beautiful friend. I know I don't comment everyday, but I read every post and love you to pieces (online and off).

Karen D said...

This bought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry you have had a crap time lately and boy can I relate!
how wonderful that you have your beautiful daughter to give you hugs, love and cookies.
Be well.

BunnyKissd said...

omigosh... how sweet... I am so crying now reading that... Children are so so so wonderful... the whole reason I wanted to be a teacher was to touch that every day... Thank you so much for reminding me...

Sarah said...

Thank you guys....{{{hugs back}}}

Bonnie said...

We all need to feel acknowledged and appreciated. Sometimes it takes a sweet, little child to do it! Lucky you.

Sometimes (when we can manage it) it is good to let the pain fly too ...

[[[hugs]]]

Sarah said...

Thank you hon:)

Jans Creations said...

Oh Sarah, Sarah
I am so sorry that life has been dumping on you. Sometimes you feel like the whole bloody world is out to get cha. Well, have faith my friend. This too shall pass and the suns going to come out again and please, please if you ever need a friend to talk to, I am a great listener and I talk back too.
I know what its like when that hole starts to swallow you up and it just feels like the harder you try to climb out the deeper it gets. Grab hold of this line and I will help you out. Life goes on and you don't want to miss the Hot
Air ballon ride now do you.
Hugs my friend.
Come join the fun at the All Hallows Eve Prim Exchange. You might even have some fun. At least you won't be thinking about all the bad things goin on around you. You already know about my empty nest so come on over and lets party. Heheh
Jan

Sarah said...

Awww thank you Jan...am breathing and feeling better:)
Will pop by to see the Exchange..whoot!!!!
:)

sassypackrat said...

I'm going thru some things myself so I feel for you! Hugs!

Brenda LaBell said...

Awwww Sarah, I am so sorry that people have been so hurtful to you!! You so deserve to be hugged by all around you!! Children and pets are always the best cures for what ails us, they have unconditional love that pours out even more readly when we as adults are in need. Thank goodness they are put on this earth to do just that, to snap us back into the reality of what really counts, love, understanding, and the simple pleasures from those who really matter. Cocka Poo Poo on the rest (high tech term, lol)!!

Sure hope your days turn around from frowns to smiles!!

((Big Hugs for the start of a wonderful weekend!!))

Brenda

Sarah said...

Thank you hon...am trying...just got the mail...groan...Hugs:)

Cinner said...

Sarah, sorry to hear life has been shitty lately. I am pissed too that you were not aknowledged.....I know how hard you work and how much you put into everything you do...now about the ex, we need to come up with a plan....he better be nice to my Sarah....Remember surround yourself by people that appreciate you, the rest don't matter. I am not one to give advice but I do have a shoulder for you, and well how does a whole plate of cookies sound, oh wth a ice cream cake, and if we need the kleenex I have them,
how about a case of Canadian kickass.....hugs to you, ....I wish I had a daughter to bring me a cookie. take care for now.

Linnea said...

I empathize. I truly do. The PTA moms here were happy to have my layout expertise, but not so willing to let me into the fold because I don't fit the "mold." (Oops, accidental bad poetry.) It doesn't feel good.

Sweet daughters, on the other hand, do, as does a surprise "thank you" from an unexpected source.

Sending hugs, and I hope this week gets better.

just me said...

how our world would be better if we were as kind and sweet as the young. she sounds like a sweetie and she must have learned from you! at least we have some great summer finally coming this next week! have a great weekend.

Snap said...

You can always find a hug over at Twisty Lane!!!

Love you, Sarah. Sorry that people can be such _____. Mindfulness, my dear. Look into Nonni's face and be thankful.

Huggles----

Alison said...

Lots of hugs to you. Lack of acknowledgement for one's work is just plain rude. People not worth worrying about. I hope that the week coming up is much better for you. This time next week I will be on a plane flying off for 10 hours to see two of my three wee granddaughters. I can't wait! xxx

Sarah said...

Awww thank you all...I am feeling better already...thank goodness for all of you. Sending hugs to each one of you!!
Linnea...you pegged it..no one minded using the talent and my time..didn't seem like much to just mention that it had been my hard work. Thank you hon...and hugs to you too:)

Grace said...

Here's to things looking up.... really soon!

What a sweet child you have.

Light and Shadow Studio said...

That someone would do something to hurt you Sarah, really bothers me. You have one of the kindest, sweetest, caring hearts I have ever seen in a person. It burns me that a person would take advantage of you. It happens to all of us I guess. I had another artist say some very unkind things about me awhile ago and it hurt me more than I thought possible. After brooding about it for a week, I decided to just work harder and I think I am better for it (take that meanie..ha,ha). You will be too. Please tell your daughter I got her CD and love it. Beautiful voice. Big hug, Sarah, You are loved, Tammy

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Like they say, some days you're the dog and other days you're the fire hydrant. Sounds like you've been the fire hydrant for two weeks -- and that's unfair! Hopefully you're done now for the rest of the year! You're right to celebrate the wonderful thank you card and bitsy cookie -- that's what life is REALLY about!

summertime dreams said...

Awww! I hope you have a wonderful, relaxing, summery :) weekend!

Halloween Spirit said...

Try to avoid negative people. it's hard because there are so many of them around. Plus they are strong forces. We need to just walk right past them, like the candy isle in the grocery store when we are on a diet. Don't even look!

deb said...

wandered here form Joanna's place.

first , I hope you are feeling in better spirits.
I'm going to look around here, but i can see you are so so creative , which no doubt means you are sensitive. There is gift and some angst with that I guess. Trust that it will pass.

and I have five kids too!