Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Wishcast Wednesday....


It has been quite a while since I have wishcasted. Lots of excuses..no time, life changes..etc etc etc...not good ones..but there you are. I have not been wishcasting. So given how I have been feeling of late..scattered and sad...it occurred to me last night that I might want to get back to it. I know I am rather slow on the pick up at times..but anywhoo..here I am ...wishcasting. Jamie has asked us today..."What do you wish for your health?" Hmmmmmmm....

Having Jim gone for his job..and having taken the car..that has left me walking everywhere. To be honest I had been trying to get back in the walking mode for a bit now..but no car kinda forced the issue. So far in May I have done 75 miles and dropped several inches and ten pounds. So....I am happy for this to continue the way it is going over the summer..25-30 miles a week and 10 + lbs a month. I have changed my eating habits..mainly vegetarian. Some eggs and chicken in there now and again..but mostly vegetarian. Drinking lots of water..cut out lots of sugar and caffeine. So ...in that respect..I am doing well. WHOOOT!

Now...there is the issue of my emotional state..which I think needs a bit of attention really. The walking so much is helping..is meditative and the exercise makes me feel good and sleep like the dead LOL! It is funny how when life changes dramatically..you find out who really cares about you. When you might need something..like help..a ride...an ear etc.. how folks just kinda disappear. So..it was a bit of a small shock to find this occurring when Jim went to work..folks disappeared. Some of them, folks who I was really close to..I thought. Seriously I don't ask for much..but I have been a bit shocked to find certain people in my life unavailable completely. What is worse is when they offer to do something..then never show up. I was a bit thrown the other day..two miles from home, bag full of groceries, in the pouring rain..when a gal I know well drove by me opened her window..hollered "Hi Sarah" and then kept driving??! Sigh. I thought well..Sarah maybe you have to speak up and ask..so I did..and well the response was painful as well...too busy..can't right now. Will call you back..will get back with you..I know the drill really I do.

So I am struggling with this right now..feeling a bit alone. Frankly I am struggling with even sharing this. You know you have hit the problem right on the head when you sit all sobby writing a wishcast post..yup I pegged what I needed. I need to be ok with folks being this way, I feel the need to be clear headed about this. I need to find a way to process my hurt and move on and be ok with it all. It is a clarifying time for me..at least relationship wise. I was not prepared for it..but there it is. Cause I feel a bit like crawling under a rock and hiding..which seriously never works..I want to feel like Letting Fly with the warrior me again..she has taken off her armor and left her flank vulnerable. So there it is. My wish for this week. Thank you all..I have missed you. I feel better just being back in the fold.
Hugs and love, Sarah

21 comments:

Luitha said...

I honour your sharing, your insight and your authenticity Sarah :o)

And most definitely - as you wish for yourself, so I wish for too...
Luitha

Snap said...

As you wish for yourself, so I lovingly wish for you.....

Wish I was closer, we could hold each other, support each other, walk together........

Haunted Swamp Designs said...

I was just told the other day...in life you MAY have one true friend.
Thanks for sharing.

Sandy VanNocker said...

Thank you for sharing your heart! It hurts to be disappointed people. You should be proud of your positive changes when dealing with a difficult situation.

As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you!

Holly said...

You know what? I'm glad you shared. I think it's important for all of us to not assume that everything we see is exactly as we see it. Does it kill us to take an extra minute to ask if everything is all right, how are things, can I help you? Do you need a ride?

Life is hectic...I get it, but we need to care enough to prob a bit deeper when we encounter someone or see something.

I so wish we lived closer...you could absolutely depend on me to help and I would be honored to have the opportunity.

I understand the feeling being isolated and at a bit adrift...I so understand.

And, last, you know that as you wish for yourself I very deeply wish for you also!

Love and HELP for you this day!

Camilla said...

Thank you for sharing so deeply of yourself.

As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

artistaprilcole@gmail.com said...

Such honesty here, thank you for sharing "you"
As you wish for yourself, I wish for you as well.

Mare/TommyGirl said...

Thank you for sharing with us. I'm sorry you're having such issues with the people in your life and I wish you the best.

As you wish for yourself, so I truly wish for you also.

Donna said...

((((Hug)))) Trite as it may sound, I truly believe that when things go out of your life, it's to make room for better. And thank you for having the courage to be so open and sharing. Your Warrior might feel vulnerable, but I see only strength, courage and spirit. As you wish for yourself I wholeheartedly wish also. xxx

Kim Switzer said...

Welcome back, Sarah! So sorry that things with friends are rough right now. But congratulations on the weight loss and walking (necessity often gets us going, doesn't it?). Hang in there!

As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you as well.

reikiflower said...

angels ... besides wishes ... i am sending you angels :) glorious things. they are yours.

as you wish i shall wish for you as well. <3 g!

Maggie said...

As you wish for yourself, I wish for you also. And a big Xena Warrior Princess boost for that wish.

I'll be checking back to see how you're doing, btw.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

People are so thoughtless sometimes. Hugs to you today.

Gail H. Ragsdale said...

I wish we lived closer!

People can be so strange and definitely thoughtless.

As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also~

Jenni at Mamahhh said...

Sarah, thank you for the beauty and the honesty in your post. Smile when you walk, dear one. As you wish for yourself, I wish for you, too, for the greatest good for all.

Sarah Lulu said...

You are not alone ...even here in Australia ...I am with you.

LOVE the truth ...I have recently moved alone for the first time in my life and I feel my vulnerability also.

As you wish for yourself I so lovingly wish this for you also. xxx

Lucy Ladham-Dyment said...

Very glad you shared. As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

Christine said...

I'm so happy you share Sarah. I feel like this sometimes too. It's really hard sometimes.

Sometimes people get too involved in there own lives and don't take the time to help others. Don't let what other people say and do affect you. You need to be true to yourself, find your center and then don't let other people change that.

It sounds easy when I just type it but I know it isn't. Especially when your feeling sad and depressed. It's hard to get out of that mode. I went to the doc in January and said that I thought I might need a little boost in my antidepressant so he added another one to the many pills I take. It took me until a month ago to feel the perscription. It's really hard sometimes to just let yourself feel good. I don't know why.

I've been try to go where the truth is and where the peace is. Even if it isn't true and peaceful in everything around me, I can have truth and peace in my heart. I don't have to let it get to me.

Okay, I guess I just went on and on but it has helped me a bit, hopefully it will help you as well.

Blessings,
Christine

Joanna Jenkins said...

I say what Holly said. I think that if the three of us gals live near-by, we'd rule the world-- Or at least our block ;-)

I'm a firm believer that "it takes a village" and wish I could be there to support you and pitch in as I know you'd do the exact same thing for me.

What a shame that your friends are so full of themselves that they can't make a few minutes for a kind soul like you. I don't have kind words for them so I'll move on.

Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I can only imagine how hard it is for you without Jim at home and I hope you know I'm sending love and prayers your way.

xoxo jj

Cinner said...

Sarah, as you wish for yourself I wish for you also.....I wish I lived closer too. makes me angry that people can be so self involved and just thoughtless. think of you always. hugs.

Rue said...

I remember when I started taking care of myself (and started learning to say "no.") Some of my friends disappeared. Yay to you for the walks & weight loss!

I know people are busy, but common courtesy is never too much of an effort. Offer a ride when someone you know is walking in the rain (especially with groceries.) Come when you say you'll come. Simple things really. It's too bad everyone doesn't think so.