Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Wishcast Wednesday...


Our fearless leader Jamie has asked us this morning...What do you wish to be gentle with? I guess the very first thing that popped to mind was myself. But the more I thought about it the more the direction changed..I want to be more gentle with myself of course..but I also want to be more gentle on those in my family..my kids especially. Not that I am rough on them..but I have been thinking about this for a bit now.

I have been a Mama for a long time now..29 years. My oldest Julia will be 29 this summer and my youngest Nonni will be 7 in the fall. Kate 22, Hanna 17 and Fox 11 all in the middle. Although they are all about 5 or 6 years apart..they are truly two sets of kids. They all consider each other siblings..not half siblings. But the older three are on their own and the younger two are still home.

What is my point..well with the first three...we had money, I was a stay at home mom mostly, we vacationed, we shopped, went to the movies, went to museums, had a car, a boat, home schooled...we had it easy. I had time to do art projects and play and go on long walks, read books, consider pond algae..you get it..I had time to just be with them and play.

When I divorced my first husband due to abuse etc..I knowingly left behind being well off. Well kinda knowingly..I have learned some very deep and hard lessons about the reality of poverty. I have also worked my backside off climbing out of that pit. As I have been struggling and working I have not had as much time to play with my younger two as I would like. I have not had the frame of mind that I did with the first three as much as I would like... that "let go play and just have fun today" freedom. That free time to play and do things on a whim. I am so busy trying to make sure the family stays above the water line..I have to remind myself to stop and play.

So I want to be gentle and relaxed with my younger two..to make sure I make the time to breathe and be carefree with them. I know the reality is that things are different and I am the breadwinner..but I need to make sure that they got the same fun Mama that their older siblings had. As I am aware my roles have changed and am ok with that..I need to make sure that I keep some of that old Mama silliness too. So maybe I need to not only be gentle with them..but with me too. What do you wish today? Namaste, Sarah

27 comments:

sassypackrat said...

What a lovely wish! My only wish for today is to keep it together and not freak out. That's probably my wish for tomorrow too.

TechnoBabe said...

Having time and patience to devote to children is a choice. You are wise to make a good choice.

Julie Jordan Scott said...

Your wish meets my heart with a gentle, longing smile. My wish, like yours - is child related.

Precious - -

As you wish for yourself, I wish for you also, with much love, love, love!

Sonia ;) said...

I fully understand what u are saying as u know we were in the same boat at one time. I would like to be gentle on myself also...To realize its ok and not always pressured. I think we all put added pressure on ourselves.

Love ya Honker xoxoxo

Sulwyn said...

As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. Lots of gentleness all around!

faerwillow said...

~sarah...live is forever changing...what once was and what is now are sometimes hard to sort through...you gave your children life and give them the best each day your are there...the littlest smile to them or a moments of truly hearing their words can meean far more than the playing itself...i hear your words and i feel your words...i think often of how i was with my oldest compared to what i am now and get frustrated...but i constantly remind myself i am in a different place...it will never be the same...and different can be just a wonderful and exciting...be gentle and kind to yourself...you give so much to us and i can only imagine the l♥♥♥ve you give to your children...as Sarah wishes for herself so I wish for you to find your balance that fulfills all you are seeking as a mother wife and friend...warm wishes and brightest blessings...it starts today...embrace the sunshine and go out and play for a moment...let fly as you say!~

faerwillow said...

~ooopppsss...life is forever changing...~

Girlie-Queue said...

So love your Mama silliness...♥
As Sarah wishes for herself and her two youngest, so too do I deeply wish for them all the joys and frivolities of childhood, no matter what age♥
~S

Cinner said...

I wish for you and your two youngest all the gentleness you can muster. I am so proud of your choices along your way. Have a great day my friend.

Lissa said...

I too feel due to certain circumstances that my younger children have missed out on a lot of joy,fun & playtime. Your wish is also a reminder for me!
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

Lis said...

a beautiful wish ... even without the struggles you have faced, i understand the conflict between what i want to be able to give to my daughter and what i need to do for my sanity, so that i might be more present and playful for her. your story reminds me i not to take this all for granted ... it is such a gift, our time and awareness.

mama silliness ... i love that! sounds like all your children will have very rich and loving memories of their time with you.

As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

Jennifer said...

Oh Sarah!
I didn't realize we had so much in common--- 5 kids, 2 still at home; divorced and poor :/

I need to remind myself ALL the time to take the time to goof off with these two. Even though they've had to live with my illness for all their lives, they still don't understand that there's only so much of me to go around. And boy, do they wish we had more cash to do all the "fun stuff" out in the world.

As Sarah wishes for herself and her family, so do I also wish for her (and ME!) with all my heart!

And btw Sarah Dear, thank you for all the sweet sweet comments you've left for me lately. I sincerely do appreciate them.

Julia Christie said...

Hi Sarah,

Life can get complicated very easily, so I wish for simplicity every day. I embrace the casting off of all the daily 'must-haves' that society and the media say we have to have, and I try to really look at what I will have to give up to 'own' something. Does it end up owning me?

I have had similar life experiences and was really touched by this post. I make an effort every day to embrace the time I have with my younger two. So lovely to hear you are being gentle with yourself and your precious youngsters. You are the best thing they have going for them.

Gentle Smiles,,,

" M " said...

As Sarah wishes for herself , I wish for her also .

Rochelle said...

Creating time to be "silly mama" will be good for you too! As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her as well.

Emmy said...

That is a great wish! And I wish to be more gentle in the fact that I am not so quickly annoyed with my kids, or so quick to get angry. It is one of those things that I do so well and then I slip up again and again. I don't want to yell at my kids ever, it isn't worth it.

Athena said...

I admire your strength. As Sarah wishes for herself so I wish for her as well. Namaste. :-)

Bella Sinclair said...

Okay, you stopped me in my tracks with this one. I was still reeling from your photos, and then your words on this post just grabbed me. They echo deep within me, too. When my husband was around, we had it very easy. It's a different world now, and although he left us in a financially secure position, I still worry as a single parent. I would love what you love, to be silly and happy with my kids, and to give them the same level of play and wonderment as they had before. Thank you for that reminder.

Bless you, Sarah.

Sarah Lulu said...

As Sarah wishes for herself I so lovingly wish this for her also ..as well as time and energy. xx

Claire said...

Sarah this is such a heartfelt post.

I came from a home where I was deeply loved but my parents too had to fight to stay above the breadline. I am stronger for it, although I did not get all the luxuries that go along with being wealthy.

Love... if they have that, then they have everything. Limited time included.

Thank you for stopping by my blog when Beth posted. It really meant a lot to me.

Claire

journeyseeds said...

As Sarah wishes, so I wish for her also. Mama wishes are so important...

Librarian Lee said...

What a perfect, loving wish! As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish also. Our journey is very similar and I often lament that my youngest, twins, did not have the fun, full-time, sahm that my oldest children enjoyed. So nice to see you thinking about it - and I know that conscious realization makes so much difference. They are well loved, I can tell :)

Gail H. Ragsdale said...

As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also~

Beverley Baird said...

As Sarah wishes for herself, I so wish for her also.
Your wish struck deeply with me. I still have a lot of guilt that I carry from when I left an abusive marriage and the struggle it was financially at first. then when my youngest at age 12 went to live with his dad, it tore my heart out.
Yet I know I did the right thing - I just wish the carefreeness had been there as well.
Thanks for such an honest, compelling post.

umbrellalady said...

Sarah - You have a wonderful, warm heart that you share so willingly. You have given your children more than you or they realize because you chose a better life - one that is free of pain and the cycle that abuse brings with it. You have given them and yourself the gift of knowing you have choices in life - it doesn't get better than that.

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Sherry Byrum said...

As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also!

From the comments you've received others are in the same boat. I have never experienced the lifestyle you described in your first marriage except for when I was the child and my parents had the money. I have just "got by" since I left home. I can relate to the "time" part. Seems like there is never enough time and now instead of a second set of children it seems I have inherited two grandchildren. (sigh) Not what I planned for myself so I like your wish also. I wish to be more gentle with my grandchildren then I did my children. I truly believe the most valuable thing we can give children is our time and simple pleasures and you Sarah are a great Mom!!!