Wednesday, September 22, 2010

On Being Uncommon....


I have had this rolling around in my head for several days now. My Muse has been pushing me to write...to offer this up somehow. The idea that some how I don't always fit..that I am odd...that I am older than the other Moms, that I don't blend well. That somehow that is a not so ok thing to be..well different. But I didn't want to have it come off as being upset..although at first it felt uncomfortable. But like many things I have learned...uncomfortable is the first step to...figuring out a piece of me.

So I got to thinking about what it means to be different. I have never been one to follow like a sheep..I like to color outside the lines. I don't really follow fashion trends..I dress as I please. I did not have 2.5 children I had 5..from 6 all the way to 29. I married a younger man...yup,I was a cougar one time. I create what I love and what touches me..and tend to not follow the crowds in that area. Seriously at almost 50 I really like who I am! So why do I let other folks influence how I feel about myself. Why do I let other women make me feel less than...odd..unwelcome? Why indeed! Why do I let it bother me? Well..cause I am human I guess..I want to fit.

But here is the reality...I am not odd..I am uncommon. I don't look or act like every other woman out there. I don't want to be like every other woman out there! I have discovered something amazing here on the blogs....there are so many women who tell me the same thing...they feel weird...odd man out...third wheel. I hear this from amazing, beautiful, march to their own drum, wear what they want women. They create incredible things, offer support and love..they are what make the world a wonderful, delightful, colorful place to be! Ever single one of us has something amazing to offer...something uncommon ..if we are brave enough to allow ourselves to let our uncommon out!

So here is to each an every one of us ....every woman who chooses to be delightfully different! More power to you..and great big cheers from me!! Let Fly with being Uncommon!!

25 comments:

Snap said...

Sarah, My Dear ...

You are a grown-up.

Those other women ... they have NO IDEA!!!!!

Hug yourself.

Love,

Joanna Jenkins said...

Your post made me smile. I've felt the same way many times-- almost to the point to making a point NOT to be like everyone else. Uncommon-- Unique, whatever. I just don't want to follow the crowd or blend in.

Cheers to YOU Sarah, xo jj

Grace said...

You are uncommonly beautiful inside and out. I LOVE this post. I wish I had learned this at 15 instead of my 30s - what an easier time I would have had. I hope I can teach my girls this - be yourself and don't give a hoot what anyone else thinks. Love yourself and be yourself -

Sharon said...

Boy are we alike. I certainly beat to another drum and do as I please. Never hurting anyone just not one of the herd so to speak. I asked a friend one day why this other gal always had something negative to say to or about me. My friend laughed and said she is so jealous of you for being yourself, being creative and just being happy. She said it kills her why she can't be free like that. Soooo go with the wind my dear and remember we only go around once in this world (at least that what I hear!) so get out there and sparkle, like you already do.!!!!

Bonnie said...

Yes, uncommon - ly talented, wise beautiful and compassionate. Yup, uncommon.

I want to be uncommon too!

Rue said...

Three cheers for being "uncommon!" I enjoy it immensely (now that I know better!) I do sometimes fall for that old way of thinking though - wondering why I'm not like everyone else. But then I realize I don't want to be like everyone else! Except maybe you! Great post.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Right on, Sarah! Who wants to be common and boring? No way!

Tammie said...

delightfully different is such a delight. Still we love to be accepted for this feels like love. I understand. You are true to yourself, and I bow to you~

umbrellalady said...

Sarah- how wonderful it is that you can be so free and enjoy all the gifts that come with it. Being outside the box is very liberating! Anyone that does not take the time to know you is missing out on so much, it truly is there loss.

Cinner said...

Well I admire a whole heck about you. your very real to me. That fitting in feeling I know how it feels to look from the outside, but only because I choose that for me...Strange some that I have wanted to fit in with would not even interest me as friends, I don't want to fit in just because. Don't forget there are people that want to be as strong and secure and present as you are. That mountain you think you might aught to climb,
maybe your already on top. hugs to you.

holdingmoments said...

From a man's perspective too. Totally agree. I've never looked, or acted like the rest of my 'group'.

Keep dancing to your own tune.

Bella Sinclair said...

Here here! And AMEN to that!

It takes courage and confidence to be uncommon. And you know what? I believe one of the most attractive things in another person is confidence. Not arrogance, but confidence. And that is because so many people lack it in themselves and desire to be more confident. So cheers to you for being a proud, uncommon, talented and beautiful human being!

ps. Love those scarves!!!

yoborobo said...

Sarah - you are perfect in every way. :) I know that feeling (being an older mom myself, and not having anyone around me that is my age with kids). Sometimes I have trouble finding friends! lol!! But I think we are very fortunate to be the uncommon folk that we are. xox!Pam

Anonymous said...

It was rather interesting for me to read that post. Thanx for it. I like such topics and anything connected to them. I definitely want to read a bit more soon.

Joan Kuree
escorts south east

Suzie said...

Sarah, of the people that you interact with there, in person, how many are truly creative souls? I mean, truly creative, such as yourself? And no ..this is no time for modesty. . as I've gotten older, hopefully, and yes, I can feel it, I've gotten wiser, and have discovered that people tend to keep their distance, or can be down right cruel to those who they are secretly jealous or envious of their talents. Instead of them being comfortable with who they are, they are insecure, which further makes you a threat, in their eyes, because you ARE so comfy with yourself, walking your own Path. .oooh, how they would love to be like you, but it is much easier to conform and be accepted as part of the herd.
But, of course, even knowing that doesn't make it any easier for you to have to live in that climate.
The internet, with blogs and groups being foremost, has created a Utopia for creative people. .here, people who feel so secluded because of how they view the world have found kindred souls. We find inspiration and support. We may be alone in our communities, but in THIS community, we are not only accepted, but embraced for who we are, and encouraged to keep it up!

Now. .as for your immediate locale. .I know that you had a bad experience when you reached out, trying to learn something new, but how about switching it around. .you love to teach. .you are good at it, and it could be another source of income. .I know that your time is also in short supply, but have you ever considered giving art classes? All of a sudden, those very women who are envious of you, will have the opportunity to learn to "be more like you", even if they can't draw or paint. . and mix it up a bit..use "something" that makes both you and the other Mom's comfortable. .a connecting bridge. .their kids! Teach some art classes for a parent and their child. It can be "private" lessons, or in a group. .whatever you and your schedule can handle. My daughter who is an elementary art teacher does this every summer, and it is such a success, that she has a long waiting list.

And if that would be too disruptive for your family, do location lessons. .the lake, the park, etc.. .see if your favorite coffee shop would let you have a couple of tables in the corner one day a week, for a couple of hours, and do something for them in return, like make a pen and ink drawing of their shop. .that would be an added promo for you too, to have it hanging on their wall, where all of their customers would see it. Who wouldn't want one of your originals hanging on their wall??

I know that I've gotten very practical in response to your epiphany, but if this were to work out for you, it would be the solution from so many angles. .first and foremost, it would not only allow you to sing with who you are, but it is an excellent way of showing those other women, whom you have to live around, that you are not something to be feared. You may meet other creative and artistic people in the process, and who knows where those roads will lead, plus it will give you some added income! Not too shabby! lol

And to leave you with a laugh. .I normally don't feel my chronological age until something happens to make me realize just how long "I've been around". I know that you are approaching a milestone birthday, and was thinking back to when I reached that 50 mark, and although I got teased a whole lot, I really didn't feel that badly about it at all, in fact, I felt quite good about myself, so I can relate to what you are feeling. .but I recently had a birthday myself, and it hit me. . the summer before you were born, when I was thirteen (turning 14 that fall), I spent every weekday, babysitting a newborn baby, while her Mom spent each day at the country club, playing golf and sunning herself poolside. So that baby also turned 50 this year. .and I could have been your babysitter!! rofl So see? You ARE still a youngster!! Now where is my cane. . . . .

Suzie said...

Sarah, of the people that you interact with there, in person, how many are truly creative souls? I mean, truly creative, such as yourself? And no ..this is no time for modesty. . as I've gotten older, hopefully, and yes, I can feel it, I've gotten wiser, and have discovered that people tend to keep their distance, or can be down right cruel to those who they are secretly jealous or envious of their talents. Instead of them being comfortable with who they are, they are insecure, which further makes you a threat, in their eyes, because you ARE so comfy with yourself, walking your own Path. .oooh, how they would love to be like you, but it is much easier to conform and be accepted as part of the herd.
But, of course, even knowing that doesn't make it any easier for you to have to live in that climate.
The internet, with blogs and groups being foremost, has created a Utopia for creative people. .here, people who feel so secluded because of how they view the world have found kindred souls. We find inspiration and support. We may be alone in our communities, but in THIS community, we are not only accepted, but embraced for who we are, and encouraged to keep it up!

Now. .as for your immediate locale. .I know that you had a bad experience when you reached out, trying to learn something new, but how about switching it around. .you love to teach. .you are good at it, and it could be another source of income. .I know that your time is also in short supply, but have you ever considered giving art classes? All of a sudden, those very women who are envious of you, will have the opportunity to learn to "be more like you", even if they can't draw or paint. . and mix it up a bit..use "something" that makes both you and the other Mom's comfortable. .a connecting bridge. .their kids! Teach some art classes for a parent and their child. It can be "private" lessons, or in a group. .whatever you and your schedule can handle. My daughter who is an elementary art teacher does this every summer, and it is such a success, that she has a long waiting list.

And if that would be too disruptive for your family, do location lessons. .the lake, the park, etc.. .see if your favorite coffee shop would let you have a couple of tables in the corner one day a week, for a couple of hours, and do something for them in return, like make a pen and ink drawing of their shop. .that would be an added promo for you too, to have it hanging on their wall, where all of their customers would see it. Who wouldn't want one of your originals hanging on their wall??

I know that I've gotten very practical in response to your epiphany, but if this were to work out for you, it would be the solution from so many angles. .first and foremost, it would not only allow you to sing with who you are, but it is an excellent way of showing those other women, whom you have to live around, that you are not something to be feared. You may meet other creative and artistic people in the process, and who knows where those roads will lead, plus it will give you some added income! Not too shabby! lol

And to leave you with a laugh. .I normally don't feel my chronological age until something happens to make me realize just how long "I've been around". I know that you are approaching a milestone birthday, and was thinking back to when I reached that 50 mark, and although I got teased a whole lot, I really didn't feel that badly about it at all, in fact, I felt quite good about myself, so I can relate to what you are feeling. .but I recently had a birthday myself, and it hit me. . the summer before you were born, when I was thirteen (turning 14 that fall), I spent every weekday, babysitting a newborn baby, while her Mom spent each day at the country club, playing golf and sunning herself poolside. So that baby also turned 50 this year. .and I could have been your babysitter!! rofl So see? You ARE still a youngster!! Now where is my cane. . . . .

Dede said...

I love you just the way you are Sarah! Wouldn't want you any other way! I truly like being "uncommon", take me for who I am. Wishing you a day filled with laughter!

(((HUGS)))

moonflowerhill.blogspot.com said...

Beautifully said! Cheers to you and all that you are. ♥

Artes da Cris said...

Loved your post...made me very emotional. Even being from a very different culture I feel EXACTLY like you, but less powerful!
Thank you for sharing!
Ana from Brazil.

Gail H. Ragsdale said...

We are so much alike in many ways, wish we lived closer, I would love to get to know you better!

Christine said...

Since starting your Let Fly class I can't help but see the similarities in your class and Brave Girls and this post "Let's Fly with being Uncommon." The Brave Girls unofficial theme song is A Life Uncommon by Jewell. Google it so you can read the words.

I don't want to be like everyone else. I want to win a life uncommon!!!

Blessings,
Christine

Sonia ;) said...

OH BFF!!!! I love the way you are, with all your uniqueness and oddity. Why because I am the same way as you, thats why ur my BFF. Always there for each other in our ups and downs in life, relationships, illness, art and just whatever the frick is going on (Renee was gonna say F word but others may be upset, she has a wholesome page here LOL).

I love you bff for who you are with me and our friendship, never judgemental, critical, or demanding. If your uncommon, then hell every artist and many more are in the same boat as you..think we need a bigger boat hahahaha..

Love ya BFF xoxoxoxox

Sonia ;) said...

Oh and another thing..I LOVE THAT PHOTO OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! I want a pic like that of me...hmmmmm a weekend thing to try should be funny..I will sedn to you first in case...LOL..u will tell me the truth..LOL

xoxoxox

LissaL said...

I'ts sad, stereotypical but true. Women are jealous of other women.Be it for beauty,brains, courage,creativity,compassion or strength. Personally I am drawn to these types of women & people in general. I had a thump on the head at 35 & again at 40. Found out who my friends were. It sucked. Ignorance is truly bliss for awhile at least. But I would rather be true to myself. We love you for who you are. You don't have to pretend to be anyone else unless you are taking an actors workshop:) BTW I hope it's okay but I was honored to receive your award & posted about it. XOXO 50 is the new 30 but bettahhhhhh Soul Sista!!

Don said...

Marching to a different drummer is a calling and a choice. I'm guessing you've made lots of choices that are uncommon, and they've shaped who you've become: uncommon.

Yet, in many ways you've not abandoned your commonness, and that allows you to navigate, interact, and even enjoy the company of many: both the conventional and the unconventional.

I often put others at ease with my uncommonness via self-effacing humor. It shows others that I know I'm a bit off... or as a good friend says, "A freak of nature!" But you and I both know, that's a compliment, albeit left-handed. ;-)

We are uncommon, and have worked hard to become so. Others don't see what you see: you've tuned yourself to "hidden" frequencies.

What's truly fun... is finding communities... such as your blog... where others, who value your uncommonness, allow you to relax and just be who you are becoming.

And they applaud you! (Hear me clapping?)

;-)