Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Good morning all!! Our Jamie has asked us this morning ... "How do you wish to Shine?" Well...hmmmmm...uhmmmmm... well...ok..I got it. I wish to shine as a Mom. My kids know I love them..they do..of this I am sure. But I feel like especially in the last year or so...I have had to focus so hard on making a living...I feel like hey have been short changed. My older children had the benefit of a stay at home mom, homeschooling, lots of field trips, lessons, vacations and income. Nonni and Fox have been around for the poor part and the beginning of rebuilding and finally kinda getting to the point that we are stable and getting back to what I consider "normal".
But in the process..I have spent an inordinate amount of time working..with the daycare and online with the artwork. It was not a choice..it had to be done. Just writing this makes me cry. Some nights I am so beat taking care of everyone else's kids, and dealing with all that goes along with being in the daycare business..I have very little left for Fox an Nonni. Which frustrates me and I struggle with it.
I purposefully took most of my mornings off this year and started doing only after school care. I did this for a couple of reasons, to be able to walk my kids to school every day and pick Nonni up after Kindergarten, to be able for the first time in years volunteer in their classrooms, and to spend serious time working on my artwork so I can let go of the daycare at some point.
I want to shine with them as we get there. I don't want them to look back and see all the things we didn't do because I was too tired and busy to do them. So I guess I wish for the artwork & photography to continue to grow as it has been and that it will eclipse the daycare so I can commit more time to Nonni and Fox. I wish to shine as a Mom again. I really do.
What do you wish for today? Namaste, Sarah