Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Wishcast Wednesday...


Good morning all!! Our Jamie has asked us this morning ... "How do you wish to Shine?" Well...hmmmmm...uhmmmmm... well...ok..I got it. I wish to shine as a Mom. My kids know I love them..they do..of this I am sure. But I feel like especially in the last year or so...I have had to focus so hard on making a living...I feel like hey have been short changed. My older children had the benefit of a stay at home mom, homeschooling, lots of field trips, lessons, vacations and income. Nonni and Fox have been around for the poor part and the beginning of rebuilding and finally kinda getting to the point that we are stable and getting back to what I consider "normal".

But in the process..I have spent an inordinate amount of time working..with the daycare and online with the artwork. It was not a choice..it had to be done. Just writing this makes me cry. Some nights I am so beat taking care of everyone else's kids, and dealing with all that goes along with being in the daycare business..I have very little left for Fox an Nonni. Which frustrates me and I struggle with it.

I purposefully took most of my mornings off this year and started doing only after school care. I did this for a couple of reasons, to be able to walk my kids to school every day and pick Nonni up after Kindergarten, to be able for the first time in years volunteer in their classrooms, and to spend serious time working on my artwork so I can let go of the daycare at some point.

I want to shine with them as we get there. I don't want them to look back and see all the things we didn't do because I was too tired and busy to do them. So I guess I wish for the artwork & photography to continue to grow as it has been and that it will eclipse the daycare so I can commit more time to Nonni and Fox. I wish to shine as a Mom again. I really do.

What do you wish for today? Namaste, Sarah

34 comments:

Tabitha@ichoosebliss said...

You are an awesome mom and you shine so bright already. :)

As Sarah wishes for herself, so I lovingly wish for her as well.

faerwillow said...

~such a honest and brave wish you have spoken...sometimes bringing light to what our souls need takes time and courage to actually admit now is time for a change...i feel your saddness and worries of time slipping away...remember though, you are their MAMA and oh how they LOVE you so...their minds will not remember the moments you did not give only the moments you DID..."I want to shine with them as we get there" ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFULLY said...may you be their light that continues daily to shine and guide them adn savor the light together...as Sarah wishes for herself so I wish with her too...may you balance the light you wish to share...brightest blessings~

ps~ did you read my award post?!?! you were one of how i has passed it along too! might want to take a peek!

much love & light...remember we are human and can only do so much...may your art carry you through to new beginning and happy endings!

Sherry Byrum said...

I bet they already know how much you love them. But as Sarah wishes I wish for her also. Shine own! You already do!

Sulwyn said...

As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. Your artwork is beautiful, and I know that it will take you where you need to go.

Wild Roaming One (WRO) said...

Oh Sarah, as a mom, I know how this feels...

I support your wish wholeheartedly...you're doing your best, making it work...now let go of the guilt (it's too heavy to carry) and love yourself along the way too.

As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also dear one.

Peace,

Oat

Snap said...

As Sarah wishes for herself, so I lovingly wish for her also.

sema said...

As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

Lis said...

Thank you for sharing this! My daughter is in her last year of preschool and already I am regretting the time I had to spend at work and the times I got frustrated or irritated by the lack of space, money, or time to just play and be truly present for her. I know sacrifices have to be made, I just wish I could be more at peace with some of the choices. You've reminded me we all go through this and the best we can do is to stay as mindful as we can, infusing love into the spaces we are given.

As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

Jennifer said...

As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

You are a Beautiful, Bright, Shining Light for your children already. I see it in your photos and I think they know what an amazing Mom they have! Keep shining that Beautiful, Sun Shiny Light upon yourself, since it radiates outward to them and they soak it in everyday!~

Lawendula said...

Don't worry! You are a good Mum, one knows it, just by reading your very warmhearted thoughts about your kids!
So shine on, Sarah! :)

WrightStuff said...

I'm sure you are a wonderful Mum with shining examples of children! I know it's hard. I'm a single parent too trying to juggle working, housework and spending enough time with my boy. It's not easy...

The Fragrant Muse said...

I felt a squeeze in my own heart as I read this because I've had these same issues with my sons (we're twins you and I, remember?). If you weren't already a great mother, you wouldn't even have these worries, and I'm sure that your kids feel loved and cared for more than you believe. They are part of a living breathing, loving unit called a family and they are learning to adapt and grow and go with the flow. This is strengthening them for the future. If you were always there, they wouldn't learn how to adapt to being in this position later in life. Trust me. It's ok.

As Sarah big-heartedly wishes for herself, so I fragrantly wish for her.

Ginny said...

As Sarah wishes for herself, I wish for her also. As moms we all struggle with juggling so many things. Although we have never met, I feel like I know a litle about you from your writing and I am very, very sure that your children feel very loved. It is obvious that your love shines brightly everyday.

erinrichardson said...

As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

You are a great mother, and I can tell that through your heartfelt post, and this very wish. Everyone can tell how important your children are to you, and I am sure they know this themselves. I wish you more time with your children and for yourself.

Karen D said...

What an amazing Mom you are my friend, it shines through in this post.
May you find the balance between work and family and may you continue to shine bright!
As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

Lisa Holtzman said...

Sarah, you are already a wonderful mother. It's obvious in the way you speak and feel about your kids and your goals. My wish is for your wish to come true (although I think it did already) and maybe for the world to be a bit kinder place for everyone.

Haunted Swamp Designs said...

As Sarah wishes for herself I wish for her.

Sarah you brought a tear to my soul. I have been in the same place as you with a daycare and kids (grandkids) of my own. I truely understand when you say...it HAD to be done.
Lynda

Renee said...

You do shine Sarah. You shine as bright as the sun in mid-day.

Your children are lucky to have you.

Love Renee xoxo

prim country farms said...

Sarah I can't imagine you not shining. You shine in everything you do.And I bet you are a awesome Mom as you are a friend to all of us.
Hugs
Chris

defineyourjoy said...

As Sarah wishes to shine as a Mum, so i wish for her too. By stating the wish and desire, you do shine already, so may you shine brighter.

Girlie-Queue said...

As Sarah wishes for herself, so too do I wish for Sarah.
~Shamsi♥

LET IT FLY!!!!!!!!!!!! :)XXXOOO I can feel your shiny-ness from here woman, I'm not sure what you're talkin' about ;-) just remember there are different levels of shiny... and they're all beautiful MUAH

clairedulalune said...

Oh Sarah, you do write such wonderful words. Just by reading your posts, you shine for your children, and through your photographs of them, their faces tell everyone that you absolutely shine as a mom. Fact. So I so not wish you to shine,i wish for you to CONTINUE to shine! You glow girl!! (Oh that was a awful pun, just awful!)Big massive hugs to you Sarah from all the way over here!

Beverley Baird said...

As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
May your children see the love you have for them shine always!
May all your dreams and wishes be fulfilled!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Such a beautiful wish Sarah. I wish all that for you and more.

xo

Kathy said...

I understand your wish so well - it speaks directly to my heart. At one time, I was a single mom with a young son to raise - there wasn't money or time to do a lot of the "fun stuff". Now that he's a grown man, I know he has memories of what we were able to do, but more importantly, he knows I love him just because....

As Sarah wishes for herself, so I wish for her as well.

Sonia ;) said...

You shine swannie...and shine as a dear friend also.

xoxoxoxoxxoxo

KnittingJourneyman said...

Big hugs, sweetie!!

As you wish for yourself, Sarah, I so wish for you as well.

Sarah Lulu said...

As shining Sarah wishes for herself, I so lovingly wish this for her also. xx

Renee said...

Sarah did I forget to tell you how beautiful you look in your new picture, well you do.

Thank you for your heartfelt love, I could feel it, every part of it and I appreciate it.

People get more than they can handle on a daily basis. That is just an old comfort line people feed themselves with their other morning bullshit with a drop of sugar on it.

xoxo

Dede said...

As Sarah wishes for herself, I so wish for her also.

Sarah I do believe that you do shine as a mom. I think that you are so hard on yourself. You are there for them and they know that. They are loved and they know that too!

(((HUGS)))

Anja said...

Lovely post. You made me think... a lot. I want to shine like a Mum too. To stop working so much and be with my kids. Just be with them. No need to do some great big projects, but be together. I miss that.

Brenda LaBell said...

As Sarah wishes for herself, I so wish for her also.

Boy do I remember those days, it is so hard to be a mom and provide these days.

((HUGS))
Brenda

Holly said...

Just in the fact that you made that wish makes you light years ahead of some that are 'mothers'.

You know I have very strong feelings about the word Mother, and it's taken me years to get in a right relationship with it.

So, you must trust me that when I say, I would choose you to be my mother, I really do know what I'm saying and that is why,

As Sarah wishes so rightly for herself and her children, I lovingly and with intention wish for her and for them, also!

Love To You!

Jan said...

Sarah,
I love that you want to shine as a mom. (I wish more moms did). To be fully present to them is what I hear, and truly what is more important than that! I am confident you will be a glowing star (if you aren't already) in the great Mom Sky. :-) xo