Monday, January 26, 2009

My Bodyguard!


I've been asked to elaborate on my comment about marrying my bodyguard. I wish I could post a pic - but he would prefer I do not. I hope Ray Stevenson will not mind me using his image - as they have many similarites in looks. Huge guy, stiking blue eyes.. the part he plays in Rome so reminds me of Jim.. a force to be reconned with - but a lamb with those he loves.
So here goes...My first marriage was difficult- my ex was/is bi-polar and as the marriage wore on he became much harder to manage. Despite years of phyc., counceling and meds - little changed. I put up with physical abuse - but his mental abuse was wicked. When he started to direct it at my girls - we were done. Funny I did not value myself at the time. I had seperated from him once and gotten no help from the community or police - when I made it final - I hired a bodyguard - Jim.
My ex was frightening and was stalking me and the children. I was introduced to Jim by a mutual friend who thought he might be of help. He was a strapping 6'2", ponytail to the middle of his back, earings and combat boots. He informed me that he was a 2nd degree black belt and very capable of "dealing" with the situation. I had it from very good sources that he was trustworthy and safe for me and the girls. Despite what it may have looked like - he and I did not have a relationship at that point. He was there when the girls went for visits and when they came home - he screened phone calls and made sure that my ex was very aware of his presence. When the stalking became more serious - my lawyers and my domestic abuse councelors suggested it might be best if I moved closer to family (we were on the East coast - they on the West)or at least out of the area(all legally). Jim helped us get across the country safely & decided to stay with us.
I still chuckle over the picture of this young guy driving a huge Uhaul with a Standard Poodle in the passenger seat. I think he was unprepared for how often a gaggle of girls have to use the bathroom - lol. He got us all through tears and fears and was there for me when I had no one to turn to. What I did not know was how very young he was...22. I was 37 at the time. I had guessed he was close to 30 - uhmmmm not. Some of you will say,"OMG, craddle robber!" Some will say, "You go girl." I will say this...we have been together now for nearly 12 years - I adore the man and can safely say he feels the same about me. It hasn't always been easy - we have had some very rough years - but we stuck it out. We share two amazing children. I have felt from the very beginning - that I knew him - in a deeper way- like I had known him forever. We often joke that we better get it right this time or were gonna have to do it all over next time.
He is a contradiction in terms...he has been a bouncer for many years - yet this semester his is taking Ballet 2. Loves it!! He is brilliant, but socially uncomfortable. A badass in the first degree - but a teddy bear if ya really know him. Public speaking makes him wanna puke - but he can make me laugh until tears are rolling down my cheeks and often. He is without a doubt an amazing Father! He is not only the bodyguard - but the guardian of my heart as well!

9 comments:

Renee said...

I love him already. He sounds awesome.

I am so glad you escaped that first marriage. I think you also did it in a perfect way.

He sounds gorgeous by the way and I can tell from your writing just how much you love him. Your writing is glowing about him.

xoxo

Renee

Renee said...

Now remember to let him keep those tights on long enought to dance.

xoxo

backattheranch said...

I am very touched by your story. My husband has bipolar and it has been hard at times. He has never been abusive but mental, yickes! We discovered it after a major car crash and he had a blow to the head. He didnt have an episode unitl a year later and it was bad. We had no idea what was going on. Since then it has been about 4 1/2 years and it has been good. Meds are working but it seems we always need to tweek it a little to make it just right. I'm so sorry it did not work out for you but when it comes to abuse and children I understand. Bipolar is a hard disease to live with and hard for the spouse to cope with and understand. I struggle many times. I'm glad you have found someone you truly love and someone that treats you the way you deserve. :)

Sarah said...

Thanks hon!! My heart goes out to you - It is a hard row to hoe! We tried everything for years to get him functional - not to be. So many do so well with help. He just wasn't one of them!! Hang in there!! Hugs!!!!!

jane augenstein said...

Wow, what a story! So glad to hear that you have found a man who is good to you and your children.
Hooray for you!
Blessings.....

Kathleen Coy said...

He sounds like a wonderful man, I'm so happy that you two found each other! :-)

Gail H. Ragsdale said...

So glad you found him, it's hard in this day and age!

The Whimsical Goblin said...

You can tell from your words how much you really care for him. congrats on finding your soalmate... even though he is a little bit younger ;)

Gypsy said...

What a beautiful story and I can *feel* the love you have for him and he has for you! So happy you have not only your bodyguard but your Guardian Angel as well!~