Tuesday, October 25, 2016
I know..it has been nearly a whole year since my last post. :/ I will be honest...I have been hiding. I have worked hard this last 6 months to get the kids, cat and I home to Idaho, acquire a good job and some stability. With the help of folks who love us...we have finally found some calm. Balance..well no..but calm is good for now. Along with a good job came the blessing of insurance. With this I was able to get my broken self into counseling.
Some would argue... that I am not broken..but the fact is I am a bit shattered. I have spent three long years in survival mode. I have lost so very much. I have gained so very much. My heart and soul, my Muse, my warrior woman..all hidden away from world. Unfortunately, I was pretty good at hiding them, because it has taken me a long three years to begin the journey back to them..back to me.
For the first time in what seems like forever, I feel the call to write..to share of myself, my journey. I have missed you all..missed the sharing and learning. For the first time in a long time I am not afraid to share the details of my life. In the very first session of counseling I was shocked by one very real epiphany ..I was closed, scared, protecting every little part of myself, my life...my story. I was afraid to even share with her the deeper truths of me. For those of you who know me...that is so far from center it is scary.
It took a very honest post on Facebook by my dear friend Zan, to snap my head around and go...WHAT? I lost this part of me too..this part of me I love? So here I am..trying to be me..finding the new me..finding all the pieces of me that have scattered. So if you will indulge me as I work though the past three years of life battles and a broken heart..I would love it if you pulled up a chair and joined me.
Hugs and Namaste