Sunday, November 18, 2012

Musing on Failure.....

It has been one of those weeks. Where everything that could go wrong did..or at least it seemed that way. Stress was at an all time semester high and my brain took a convenient exit stage left. So lets see..where shall we start? Jim..new job..swing shift...whoot for new job. Seriously huge happy dance. Hmm swing shift...regroup schedule for study and well everything. Done and done. Three major tests this week...HAVE to pass...cause I am driven,competitive girl.
 
Main plumbing line decides to be plugged up..completely plugged up. Which means..basement toilet full of poo..can't use water in house..means..no showers, no laundry..no toilet..ARGGGGGG! Dog decides to eat something nasty outside. In the middle of dealing plumbing issue I wake up to find that she has puked and pooed allllllllllllllllll over the living room in the middle of the night. OMG!!! I am now up to my eyeballs in poo..and well other stuff. See that little guy up there...giggle..yup I looked a bit like that by Thursday morning!!
To be honest I am not really sure what came out of my mouth that morning..am guessing something not so Sarah like. I would post a picture of Lucy..but seriously she was mortified and hiding in the basement. As she really never does this..unless....she has raided the garbage can!
So in the midst of new job schedules, toilets full of poo, sick dogs, knitting orders and homeschooling..I had to study for three major tests. My Muse was standing over in the corner going.
 
."Good luck with that girl!!"
 
She is sassy..geesh! But..I ignored her sarcasm and tried to study. My son yelling from the basement...
"OMG who flushed the toilet up there..the poo is overflowing."
 
Then finding it necessary to use a Big Bang quote..
 
"It's like an upside down volcano in here!"
 
 Jewish accent and all. So I run down to the basement to clean up the mess. Thank goodness for funny boys! So much for studying...I needed to just put my headphones on and go here...a happy place...
 
 
doesn't that look nice...hot cider please!! Carmel in it you say?? Oh yes please!
 
So I took my Conflict management test first..giggle go figure..managed to pass that one! Then on to Algebra...do you think I might get a few points for this one....snort.
 
Uhmmm..open up the test and it is three pages..two of which are all written problems..I think the teacher hear a bunch of this Thursday evening...
 
 
I might have passed this one..not sure yet..my ability to judge much of anything at this point is sketchy at best!
What is up next? Oh ....dog is fine..$100.00 later main line is cleared and we have all showered and have clean clothes on! Major Psych of learning test. Ok well..as I have been teaching for 26 years this class should be a piece of cake..uhmmm...silly me! Great professor..hard class..huge amount of information..huge time commitment. You can see what the issue is here...you can picture me giggling in a sorta not really sane way at this point. The extra shot latte did not help.
So I get to work on this one...and I feel pretty confident. I know the concepts..a great deal of it logical! That is what he wants me to know right? The how and why of it all..right..sigh..sorta.

It was not so much the how and why as the who that tripped me up. The beauty..or horror of online classes is that you get results right away..at least for tests. Huge FAIL..worst fail of all..huge head banging...OMG WTH kinda fail! I kind thought I managed to pass..just maybe..nope. To be honest I was a bit stunned. My Muse..not so much...
 
"Ha...told ya so! What were you thinking..that you would pass this one with all this going on?"
 
Told you she could be sassy and sarcastic! But she was right...I was trying to do it all..and failing big time. Because I am driven..I THINK I can do it all..if I just try hard enough. WAKE UP CALL! I cannot do it all..I have to sit down today and regroup! What do I need to REALLY get done in the next month? What can wait? What cannot. I need to take care of me a bit better too! So today..I am gonna take a little time and look at the next month and figure out what is what! I gonna do this...
Then I will write the 8 page paper for extra credit in my Psych class. Have a wonderful Sunday all..and take care of you today..one little thing even..but do! I am gonna have a delicious hot cider with cinnamon and caramel...can I get you one too??
Namaste All!


11 comments:

sassypackrat said...

OMG Sarah! All of that would have completely done me in! Best of luck moving forward. Deep calming breaths and maybe a treat or two.

Kimberly said...

My heart says you'd get a really pretty sticker for making it through and several mugs of your favorite cider. Love your muse too! Mine is always telling me to breath deeply.

Anonymous said...

I think that you are just incredible to still be alive after that insane week!! You do deserve a sticker and a tall drink! Or two! I hope you passed math, my test is tomorrow. I loved your blog about what needed to be done and what can wait. I just said that the other day.
Take good care :)
BreAnna

magikalseasons said...

Well friend oh crap has new meaning! Hang in there! Sending you a big hug!xo Bec

Gail H. Ragsdale said...

Good grief Sarah, I'm stressed just reading all that! Seriously girl, do the breathing thing!

Laura said...

if i remember correctly, mercury is retrograde. so... hang in there...
blessings
~*~

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Sorry to hear that the shit hit the fan, so to speak. I hope next week is better -- you deserve it!

Snap said...

So, Sarah. What are you doing for fun????? !!!!!! Hugs ... A new week is just around the corner......

yoborobo said...

Sarah, I would have thrown in the towel at the poo. :) Give yourself some slack, and know that we have all failed some test at some point and you know what? You had a heckofa lot on your plate and you did the best you could. I am high-fiving you from Maryland for not hiding in the next county until it all blew over. :)) xox!!

Sarah S. said...

Awww thank you guys:) Huge hugs to all of you..am taking a couple days this week to just relax:)

Cinner said...

Sarah you deserve a break, glad Jim is working, but all those other things that can add up on you, wow!I hope your days ahead are not so shitty...could not resist....but really I hope you get some you time.
hugs.