Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Of Muses and musing and Mr. Brooks.....
My voice has been very quiet here of late..not because I have not been around..just that I could not seem to form a respectable post to save my life! Which is odd...for those of you who know me..I have plenty to chat about. But of late my Muse has been keeping my mind busy in other ways..and well..it is wonderful..but I miss that writing part..I really do. So I am here today to attempt a little musing..maybe..if you bare with me!
I have been thinking a bit about regret of late..the use of it..or lack there of. I guess as the economy tanked..and my livelihood has been stretched to the limits this last year...I have been catching myself doing the..."What if I had done blah blah blah instead of the choices I made?" Maybe you have thought..I should have made this choice or that one..or this person or that person...this job or that...you know what I mean..I know you do.
So here is what I decided..after months of struggling with the past...again (cause this is a lovely spot I revisit...too often. My Muse kept whispering in my ear...
"Now Sarah...you know that song by Garth Brooks..the one about choices and being glad you made the ones you did...think on that a bit..just a bit please."
Ya know she never just tells me the answer..I have to go looking for it..sigh!
Hmmmm...Garth Brooks...what song...of like 500..most of which I love..then it dawns on me....Oh DER...Unanswered Prayers ahhhhh yes..that one. Ok..so what you are saying is that maybe things would not have gone as planned had I made different choices....that maybe I was meant to make the choices I did..to learn what I did.
Ok again I am struggling with...BUT I would have had more money..I would not be struggling like this now..etc etc.. I could have been..I don't know whatever..something calmer and less stressful maybe.
Very gently she tells me,
"Sarah...how many times have I told you already ...those struggles make you who you are..the part that has something to share...the part that gives you depth and empathy..it gives you a bit of soul. And who is to say that any of the other choices would have turned out the way you imagined? Please try to remember that you are the you, that you should be! You have forgotten to look for the lesson in the experience."
I know...I really do know this..am remembering. Yup..have forgotten to look for the lesson as I was wallowing in self pity and frustration. Sigh...I really do know this. Cause it has kept my voice quiet..as I waded up to my neck in that river...LOL I think there is another Garth Brooks song rolling around in my head..Such a smart Muse I have!!
Thanks for baring with me today as I try to find my voice again! I wonder...do you struggle with this one too??
Oh and...thank you Mr. Brooks!! I do so love your music!!
Hugs and Namaste all, Sarah