Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Our fearless leader Jamie has asked us this morning, "What rules do you wish to make or break?" Oh what a wonderful, powerful question. I screams out to create personal boundaries or break down fences that bind us...whoot!! Hmmm which way shall I go here!!
I have been struggling with "fitting in" again this week. The whole don't fit in the clique thing..odd man out..blah blah blah. It isn't that this group of women do not like me..they do, out here in the non cyber world...I am just not part of the group and now and again I catch myself being bothered by that..wanting to please and offering to do things that I would not ordinarily nor is for healthy for me. So maybe this is about boundary keeping more than breaking.
I was among this group of women this week and felt sad and a bit hurt by behavior. You know... when you are having a pleasant conversation with someone and then a member of "their group" walks up and suddenly they walk away mid sentence as though they were never even talking to you at all. And....they don't ever come back..you just stand there on the outskirts of another group deep in conversation and feel stupid. Well..seriously it is rude...and I am frankly too old to put up with that. Despite the fact that I really do not think they meant any hurt to me...it is ME that needs to buck up and not engage in the first place..cause I KNOW what is coming.
So..my wish today is a rule for myself..a boundary..one to take care of me and that I be responsible for my own space. That I will remain present when I am with them. I wish to remember that it is ok to not engage with everyone..to stand back and care for myself..to say no and often in this group. To recognize that I am unique and I do not want to be different than I am just to fit in this group or anywhere frankly. I really like my camos..even if they don't..I am ok with that! I just need to remind myself of it before I walk into the fray! I like me the way I am and wish to remember this and be present in that comfort!
What do you wish today? Namaste all, Sarah
**Just a little note (huge hugs) of thanks to all of you wonderful Wishcasters...I did Let Fly with the classes this week....I am over the moon and happy dancin'! Thank you for all of your encouragement and support! Whoot!!!