My voice has been very quiet here of late..not because I have not been around..just that I could not seem to form a respectable post to save my life! Which is odd...for those of you who know me..I have plenty to chat about. But of late my Muse has been keeping my mind busy in other ways..and well..it is wonderful..but I miss that writing part..I really do. So I am here today to attempt a little musing..maybe..if you bare with me!
I have been thinking a bit about regret of late..the use of it..or lack there of. I guess as the economy tanked..and my livelihood has been stretched to the limits this last year...I have been catching myself doing the..."What if I had done blah blah blah instead of the choices I made?" Maybe you have thought..I should have made this choice or that one..or this person or that person...this job or that...you know what I mean..I know you do.
So here is what I decided..after months of struggling with the past...again (cause this is a lovely spot I revisit...too often. My Muse kept whispering in my ear...
"Now Sarah...you know that song by Garth Brooks..the one about choices and being glad you made the ones you did...think on that a bit..just a bit please."
Ya know she never just tells me the answer..I have to go looking for it..sigh!
Hmmmm...Garth Brooks...what song...of like 500..most of which I love..then it dawns on me....Oh DER...Unanswered Prayers ahhhhh yes..that one. Ok..so what you are saying is that maybe things would not have gone as planned had I made different choices....that maybe I was meant to make the choices I did..to learn what I did.
Ok again I am struggling with...BUT I would have had more money..I would not be struggling like this now..etc etc.. I could have been..I don't know whatever..something calmer and less stressful maybe.
Very gently she tells me,
"Sarah...how many times have I told you already ...those struggles make you who you are..the part that has something to share...the part that gives you depth and empathy..it gives you a bit of soul. And who is to say that any of the other choices would have turned out the way you imagined? Please try to remember that you are the you, that you should be! You have forgotten to look for the lesson in the experience."
I know...I really do know this..am remembering. Yup..have forgotten to look for the lesson as I was wallowing in self pity and frustration. Sigh...I really do know this. Cause it has kept my voice quiet..as I waded up to my neck in that river...LOL I think there is another Garth Brooks song rolling around in my head..Such a smart Muse I have!!
Thanks for baring with me today as I try to find my voice again! I wonder...do you struggle with this one too??
Oh and...thank you Mr. Brooks!! I do so love your music!!
Hugs and Namaste all, Sarah
Sarah - this is a wonderful post! And one that we can all relate to. I think that most of us live with the "coulda, woulda, shoulda's" and overlook the lessons that have been in front of us all along.
ReplyDeleteI continue to try to recognize the teacher each time she appears, but I have to admit that I am not very successful at it.
Thanks for popping by today. I have missed you, and it was wonderful to see you again.
xoxoxo
we all go through seasons. you were just in the winter part of it, now you can be in the spring and every thing will feel fresh like starting over.
ReplyDeleteI think that way every once in a while too, but then I realize all it does is make me seriously nuts. It's the worst kind of speculation because one assumes that a different choice would have led to a perfect fairy tale outcome. And we all know how likely that is!
ReplyDeleteDear Sarah, yes you are so right, we all know of what you write. That is one reason I have so many memes. Each day I know what I will post about. Well lately I have found that does take away my choice to just verbalize or reflect. So sometimes I do the memes and sometimes something just hits my mind to do. I have learned so much from you, never doubt you creativity and influence for good on others. Come over and pick up the Spirit of Light button on my blog.Blessings
ReplyDeleteQMM
I do know what you mean. It's so difficult not to have regret especially when you are struggling financially, physically and emotionally. And if children are wrapped into that regret then the guilt sets in, which can be the worst of all.
ReplyDeleteI've been wallowing in regret myself right now. I want to bang my head at the choices I made in the past. I wonder at the life lived if I had followed another choice path. I beat myself up about it.
But I did make those choices and have learned from them and grown as a person. I try hard to acknowledge that and make the best choices I can moving forward. It's not always easy to do. I am who I am imperfections and all and just glad to be me.
Hugs back to you and keep your head above that river!
Yes, so many regrets. Some lessons learned, others lost due to foggy weather. My life seems to be full of "what ifs". But hindsight is wonderful, too bad we can't have an inkling of it before jumping in and making a really bad choice :)
ReplyDeleteHugs to you~ Gail
Some words of wisdom here...thank you...the trouble with regrets is that they stop us from focusing on this moment...the now...
ReplyDeleteOhhh yes. I have had this same conversation with my angels. I finally realized that so many things that I absolutely love about my life could have been jeopardized had I made other choices, even if they had been deemed wiser choices at the time. I'm so grateful for these muses who speak to and through us and help us to move forward. Namaste.
ReplyDeleteSarah - "To everything there is a season" or however it goes - so true though isn't it?
ReplyDeleteWas wondering what you have been up to. Learning from the experiences, we should be darn smart, lol. Your voice is stronger than you know Sarah, and I love ya, you know that. big hugs.
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